Joy and 2009, the year of change

Hello out there! If there is anyone out there ;)

I'm in a pretty cool place in my life. I'm in a place that I wanted to be 5 years ago. Does that make any sense? Let me back up...

Five years ago, I was in a dark place. I was 26. I felt unbelievably lost. I was unemployed and was on the verge of giving up the Hollywood dream and  wanted to go back to Hawaii and work for the family biz. I felt so incredibly defeated. I felt like a failure. All I wanted was to do was work at a studio and work on movies and be with someone I truly loved. Well I was with someone. But I wasn't sure I loved him anymore, despite the fact that we were together since we were a couple of 15 year olds.

Then everything changed, very quickly. I got an interview in the summer of 2009 with a well-known post-production company. Nothing came of it though so I applied to more places. I was feeling so hopeless until I got an interview at Target. One fateful day in October 2009, I got 2 calls - one from the post-production company and one from Target, BOTH offering me a job. I had to make a decision. The post company was a temp position that was going to last a mere 2 months with no benefits. Target was a permanent position offering benefits. I was scared because I really really wanted the post position, but I didn't want to be unemployed again in another 2 months.

But guess what? I took the chance and went with the post-production company. Best decision I ever made. From there, my life took a crazy turn. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend at the time. It just wasn't working anymore. We just didn't want the same things. He never ever brought out the best in me. It took me a long time to figure that out, but I finally did. We were together for so long, I think we were just together because it was comfortable and familiar. And maybe I was just scared to be alone.

So I just worked my butt off at this post house and eventually my two months were up, It was now 2010 and I was worried about being jobless again. But guess what? Because I did such a great job, they just kept me. I made a ton of new post production friends that year. We had a new tradition - "Pay Day Fridays at the Bigfoot". It was amazing. And eventually, I ended up falling for one of those new post production friends. He is the one I fondly refer to as my "Mr. H". He opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. He helped me realize to slow down and observe and appreciate the world. He helped me learn to love my life. He inspires me to do creative things everyday. He gives me constructive advice and I just learn so much from him. I just feel safe with him, something I've never felt.

So things weren't all good. The company I worked for took a turn for the worst and because of all the amazing friends I made, I ended up landing another job at the competing post house. It's amazing. Before 2009 happened, I went on tons and tons of interviews. I was heartbroken for so much of my 20s it was sad. And now I was being offered jobs on the spot. It was mind blowing. This new job didn't offer that much difference in pay, but it was an amazing team I was working with. It was the best place I worked up to that point. I loved all my co-workers and I loved my job so much I think I made people sick to their stomach when I talked about how awesome my new company was. I eventually even brought over a bunch of my post friends to the new company.

Then, another turn for the worst for my favorite company. It's funny how small this industry is. After working in it for awhile, you get to know A TON of people. We all just rotate in one post house after the next. By that time, it was 2013. I knew the industry pretty well by this point. I could do it with my eyes closed. At this point, I was feeling sad for the old days with my old team. Most of them left and now I wanted to leave to, but I never did anything about it.

Until one fateful day (I love using this phrase LOL), I got a call from an old co-worker that was telling me to send her my resume. So I did thinking nothing of it. Then BAM! My dream... a fuh-reaking studio called and asked me for an interview?! They asked ME for an interview. I was floored and accepted. Before you know it, I was being offered a very nice salary and a start date of NOW! It happened just waaaay too fast for me to even comprehend.

I've been at my new studio job for about 3 months and am enjoying the trillions of benefits we get, but I still miss my old team and the old times. But 3 months, tho. Not that long right? I thought so but I guess I'm doing a good job again, because my boss has decided to send me to Japan in May. WHAAAAAAT! Japan? Oh you mean that country that's #1 on my travel bucket list? Yes please.

So here I am, the exact spot I wanted to be exactly 5 years ago. And yet, I still feel un-fulfilled. I feel a longing of something more. And that my friends, is what I think life is about. It's that longing that keeps you going.

I honestly do not know where I wanted to go with this post. I just wanted to reflect on how far I've come and remind myself that I still have a lot of awesomeness ahead.

I would love to have a Project Life album for every year in my life, but I think I'm going to go back to 2009ish. That's where my "new life" began. And that's what I really want to remember and cherish. My 2013 album was so fulfilling that I want to go back and finish those years. A lot happened to me in these 5 years that makes me exactly who I am today. And for the first time in awhile, I love who I am today.